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Sometimes the only way forward is to look back.
I’ve done a lot of looking back in recent months … looking for answers to help me understand how I ended up here … here in this deep valley of pain. How did things go so wrong?
I’m reading Lysa Terkeurst’s book It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way and so much of my heart can relate to her story. My life wasn’t supposed to turn out this way — 17 years of missionary service come to an abrupt end. The loss of a life we’d built — fall apart like a house of cards has been heart-shattering.
As I look at the disarray my life seems to appear, I’ve had to come to accept that on my own, I simply cannot move forward. There are too many broken pieces. But my child rather unexpectedly reminds me our house is not the only one in ruins.
“You looked for much, but indeed it came to little; and when you brought it home, I blew it away. Why?” says the Lord of hosts. “Because of My house that is in ruins.” Hag. 1:9
My beloved tells me, “I built a house for our family but destroyed our home.” The tears come — he wasn’t the only one responsible for the destruction — I not only allowed it but contributed to it. Yes, to move forward, we’ve had to look back and make peace with our mistakes — our imperfect selves then and now.
And in this journey of rebuilding our lives, we’ve had to find forgiveness from those we’ve hurt and one another.
We are still in our mess and the work ahead of us seems overwhelming — but we have renewed hope. God’s promise stands true:
“The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,’ says the Lord Almighty. ‘And in this place I will grant peace,’ declares the Lord Almighty.” Hag. 2:9
We are learning that our God can and is making something new of the ashes of our lives. All He asks is for us to surrender and give it to Him. And as we do, I’m believing He will make something better than we’ve ever seen and experienced.
After taking a long hiatus, I’m happy to be back online with the Five Minute Friday Community, where every Friday, we write for five minutes based on a word prompt.
I wonder how many others have also been spending time looking back these days? It seems we have so much more time with these stay at home orders, and even once lifted concerns about going back out. This is certainly a time to reflect and rebuild our homes, our lives, with a new and treasured perspective. We are focusing on inviting Him into every moment, every choice, every breath. Consciously inviting Him. I think your statement, ” our God can and is making something new of the ashes of our lives” creates a beautiful picture of precious truth. Thank you for sharing!
It’s so good to see you here again. You’ve been missed, and I’m so sorry for your losses.
My whole life was inverted;
the cancer brought the pain.
Sometimes I felt deserted,
and who would stop the rain?
Then I saw it, yes, the light
(it happened just that way),
and knew beyond the deepest night
would rise a brighter day
when the healing touch would come;
but physical was not His goal;
in ruins that I walked among
came final healing of the soul,
and in that seamless victory
I now can face Eternity.
#1 at FMF this week
Thanks Andrew! Your words here bring comfort.
This is my prayer too:
in ruins that I walked among
came final healing of the soul,
I’m sorry for the pain and the losses, but it sounds like the Lord is creating beauty out of the ashes. Prayers for comfort and healing.
Thank you for stopping by and for the prayers.
Love to you all. It’s so good to hear how you are. We are still praying for you all and miss you! xxx
Thank you Hannah! We miss you all too. I have fond memories from our time together last summer! Such grace to be with you.
Thank you for sharing with Grace & Truth. Yes, looking back is helpful as long as we don’t get stuck there. Prayers for you and your family. Maree
Thanks, Maree. Yes, that’s our prayer — to keep breaking free and moving forward.
Glad you’re back, Hulda.
Thanks Suzette!
We all go through this series of ups and downs in our humanity; it never gets easy. But so thankful for grace and forgiveness to smooth over the bumpy spots. Praying for restoration and healing for your family as you wait on the Lord, Hulda!